One year ago...

One year ago I was having mild contractions and I was thinking perhaps it was just a irritable uterus again*. I took my terbutaline, drank 20 oz of water, rested on my left side (when I wasn't peeing) and eventually fell asleep.

Around noon the next day, I was speaking with Sarah on the phone and saying something about how cool it would be if the twins were born on Friday the 13th. But since "nothing is going on", I didn't think it would happen. Little did I know....

*At least I was hoping it was because Alaina wasn't in bed yet and I didn't want to disturb her nighttime routine. The twins arrived less than 24 hours later. And with my "don't disturb Alaina" mentality, it's a wonder they didn't arrive on the living room floor!

How Did THAT Happen?

I did not pack enough for lunch at work today. So when I found myself not quite satisfied with what I brought, I made my way to the vending machine for a granola bar. Imagine my surprise when the Jumbo pack of Peanut Butter Cups dropped down instead.

Hmmm...

I know I pressed 8-3. Oh. No. I must have pushed 5-3.

Accident?

Or was it just meant to be?

60 years is a long, long time

This past weekend was a really special one for my mom's family. We all gathered from near and far to celebrate my grandparents 60th wedding anniversary. While gathered, we also celebrated my cousin Kristen's bridal shower. The timing was appropriate since it is rare that we're all able to get together in the same place at the same time. But it was also significant to celebrate the beginning of one marriage while acknowledging the longevity of another.

My grandparents met when they were young. Very young. My grandmother was best friends with my grandfather's younger sister. They met young and developed an interest in one another. They managed to hold off their relationship until she was of age and they were married when she was 18. This is astounding to me because I can't imagine doing anything significant when I was 18 - let alone getting married to someone I could STAY married to for 60 years!

In their first 3 years of marriage, they had three children: Bill, Dick and my mother. Wow. When I was 21 I could barely feed myself let alone take care of 3 kids and a husband. They would go on to have 3 more sons Mike, Bob and Ken. Those children have now produced 9 grandchildren and 7 (and a half) great-grandchildren.

My grandparents still sign their cards to each other "Love, Babe". As children, we used to giggle about that. Now, I appreciate it a lot more.

It's been a rough few weeks for them. My grandmother had a back surgery that led to a chain of events culminating with her in the hospital - including an ICU stay. Thankfully, she is now recovering in a rehab facility. It's been stressful for her and my grandfather. But seeing them arrive together at the dinner in their honor yesterday put it all into perspective. It takes work to be in a marriage. It takes work to raise children. And after 60 years, they still are very much in love and they are very much a team.

Having a relationship like that to look up to instills a certain amount of hope in me. I hope that Brian and I can be so happy when we hit our 6th anniversary! But joking aside, I also know, after watching my grandparents for so many years, that it won't be easy but that we'll GET THROUGH. We just have to want to. So thank you Grandma and Grandpa, for setting such a shining example for all of us.

Scare.

This weekend was insane. I'll give the details in a later post but essentially we were jam packed with fun family functions from Friday afternoon straight through Sunday night. Friday morning - while running some errands for the weekend - I threw my back out while carrying Alaina into a store. I know, I know. I'm not supposed to be carrying her around. But she was asleep when we arrived at the party supply store and those balloon bouquets were NOT going to order themselves. Thankfully there were lots of family members around to help with the kids on Friday night and during the day on Saturday.

Saturday night I rested, watching - and critiquing - the Olympic gymnastic trials with my Brian, Paul, Liz and my dad. As I was getting ready for bed, I went to use the bathroom one last time and that's when I noticed the bowl was filled with blood. Not good.

I grabbed Brian and we were off to the hospital, calling the doctor on the way. Immediately they wanted to know if this could possibly be a U.T.I. Um, no way. The listened for and found the heartbeat right away and hooked me up to the monitor to see if I was having any contractions (I was not).

After about an hour (the bleeding had slowed and then stopped by that point) I was seen in triage by a midwife. She determined the bleed was from the previa. Apparently the same lifting and carrying that led to me throwing my back out also was too much for my placenta to handle. She assured me the bleed was not "active" which was good. She then proceeded to freak me out by referring to it as my "first" bleed, which leads me to believe there will be more. I was sent home and told to stay 100% off of my feet the next day which would prove to be impossible with the weekend activities, but I did my best.

I returned to my OB today for my regular 17p injection and a quick follow-up with the 4th and final doctor in the practice. He told me not to have any more days like Saturday - basically to take it more easy. But aside from pelvic rest, I wasn't given any more formal restrictions, which I appreciate. He ordered a follow-up ultrasound for next week to check my placenta again.

So, a little scary but seemingly a good end. If nothing else, a good reminder to us all that this is still a high-risk pregnancy and even though I feel good, I shouldn't make light of it.

Wait. Who are you?

My sons are identical. There are days when they look more like each other than other days. Lately, those days are coming more and more frequently. But even on their most identical days, I can tell them apart. I don't think it's mother's intuition; I really think there are the tiniest, subtlest differences between them that anyone who spends any significant amount of time with them would be able to distinguish. That being said, every once in a while, there are times where I have to stop and question: Who the hell am I holding?

This morning was one of those times.

Over the past few days I've noticed a funny line - like a crack - across the toenail on Aaron's right big toe. This morning, I was giving a bottle and cuddling Brady only to look down and notice his right big toenail. Same. Exact. Crack.

It was such a crazy coincidence that I had to stop and go back over the course of events of the last 12 hours to reassure myself I hadn't switched them at any point. Really, are identical twins supposed to be THAT identical? Maybe I'm in trouble. I guess we should go back to painting toenails just to be triple sure we always know which kid is which.

Things I ONLY do when I'm pregnant

- Eat in the middle of the night
- Strike up conversations with toddlers belonging to complete strangers
- Cry happy tears. All. The. Time.
- Wear t-shirts with cute sayings on them
- Consume anything that comes from a McDonald's or a Burger King or a KFC (I still won't touch Taco Bell)
- Consider ice cream a legit source of calcium
- Avoid WebMd. Hypochondria + pregnancy = Panic
- Convince myself that I can make a living by working a part-time, home-based business
- Investigate new religions to possibly convert before new baby arrives
- Read Danielle Steele books
- Use gas station bathrooms

We Did It!

In yesterday's post over on HDYDI, I made big confession: I NEVER take the children anywhere alone.

I know, I know. The boys have been around for 10-months; how is that possible? Trust me, it just is. I've never been in the position to HAVE to go anywhere without another adult so I just haven't done it. Also, I'm terrified. And the work involved just packing everyone up and loading them into the car (while herding the dog off to her crate) is enough to deter anyone.

But that has all changed now my friends. I am happy to announce that for the first time last night, I successfully managed to be out of the house - alone - with all three children! We accepted a dinner invitation from Katie and her brood. Dinner time is about the worst time of day for my children. They are tired, they are hungry, they want their mommy and they will fight each other to get to their food/me. But, Katie and her kids are the only people I would feel comfortable accepting this invitation from - at least the first invitation. I knew that if the kids (or I) did lose it, she wouldn't be totally appalled and may, in fact, even invite us to do something else with them again. So, I decided it was time to just go for it.

I am happy to report that even though we all ate about a third of our normal dinner portions, we did ALL eat (myself included!). There were no meltdowns. In fact, there was laughter. My normally stranger-shy toddler was (gasp!) playing without keeping me within her direct line of vision. My sons allowed me to PUT THEM DOWN and WALK AWAY.

This was a great confidence boost. Now that the summer months are here, I am looking forward to finally getting out and about. So many things await: summer concerts on the town green, the park, the zoo. Now, if they'd only contribute to filling the gas tank, we'd be unstoppable.

Another Pale Summer

While I was at work this morning, my cell phone started vibrating on my desk. When this happens it is almost always daycare calling telling me that 1) we are out of milk/food/diapers/wipes and need to bring some more. Now. Or 2) someone is really sick and needs go home. Now.

But today it was my new doctor's office calling. I found this strange as I had just been there and I am not scheduled to return until June 6th. When I left they told me everything was fine. I better not have HIV....

When I answer the nurse sounded pleasantly surprised that I have taken her call and she doesn't have to leave a message. She informs me that the doctors have discussed my "case" and with my history of pre-term deliveries, I am now a top priority. I'm not sure why it took almost a week to move up the ladder of importance, but nonetheless, I'm happy for any special attention I may receive.

She proceeds to tell me that the consensus of the group is that I should start receiving weekly injections of 17P (17 alpha-hydroxyprogesterone caproate) starting at 16 weeks. Which would be...this week. Apparently this is the new recommended course of action to try and prevent a repeat pre-term delivery.

I agree that sounds good. Anything to keep baby cooking a little longer. But Daddy raises the red flag. Sure, all of our kids have done their fair share of NICU time but at what *real* consequence. What are the risks of this treatment? Are we setting ourselves up for something worse in the long-term.

Huh. Hadn't thought about that.

So, I hop back onto the phone, this time with my dedicated Aetna nurse/case-worker (a nice service for us "high-risk" preggo ladies) and address my concerns. She makes me feel better. Although she does inform me that a down-side for the mother while receiving these injections is a heightened sensitivity to sunlight. So I'll be spending another summer NOT getting a tan. Oh well. I'll share the children's SPF 1,000 sunscreen and use this as an excuse to wear a funky big hat.

She also told me that my coverage affords me an at-home teaching session, where a nurse can come to our house and show my daring husband how to inject me. That way, I don't have to go to the doctor every week for a 30-second injection. That is, until I have to go to the doctor every week for a cervix check. But, at least it will buy a month (or hopefully two) of convenience.

It looks like I'll start my injections on Thursday or Friday of this week. Let's all keep our fingers crossed that they will help me carry this baby longer than any of the others!

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to my Mom, Grandma, Mother-in-Law, Godmother and the Godmothers of my three children! During my approximately 2.5 minutes of peace and quiet today, I reflected on my life and how very lucky I have been with the Mothering I have received and the love that my children are now receiving from all the special women in their lives.

What a great gift to be a mother. And as much as I complain about the lack of sleep, illnesses, and crying, I know EXACTLY how blessed I am and I wouldn't trade a second of it. My children truly are my greatest gifts.

Of course, I would be no where in all of this without my husband. Clearly he played a major part in my becoming a mother but there is no way I could be the mother I am without his love and support. I may appear to have my S%*t all together but the amount of work he does behind the scenes is what makes me look so good. And it affords my quality time laying around on the floor with my children instead of having to rush home to 22 loads of laundry and a meal to cook every day. I love you, B.

I hope all you moms out there had as great of a day as I just did. Kiss and hug your kids for me!

Concerts I Won't Be Attending

After last year's disappointment over missing the Police and Genesis reunion concerts, let's see, who I will not be seeing in concert THIS summer due to pregnancy and the inability to stand on my feet for any period of time:

Pearl Jam
Stone Temple Pilots (Reunion!)
R.E.M. - with Modest Mouse
New Kids on the Block (Reunion!)
Poison (probably not as fun anymore anyway now that Rock of Love has aired)

Oh, and just to be cruel, The Police are coming around "one last time" before going back into retirement. And they are coming to my area with Elvis Costello. Grr...

Last year I did manage to get to two nice, sit-down concerts with the boys in-utero: Aaron Lewis (of Staind) does a great acoustic show and I was able to see my boyfriend Josh Groban as well. Will there be a concert I can take my tummy to this year? Perhaps. Maybe the Jack Johnson show is low-key enough? If you have any other suggestions, throw them my way!

Josh Groban is Beautiful

MBFJG was named one of People Magazine's 100 Most Beautiful People!

At this time I'd like to send a big "I told you so" to my husband. Clearly other people agree that his "dorky" look IS appealing. Especially when paired with a voice like Josh's.

This never happens to me

As I have mentioned, I have no maternity clothes left from my previous pregnancies. So, I've been starting over (and, admittedly, I'm NOT sad about it!). So when I found this site that sells adorable t-shirts - www.CafePress.com - I promptly ordered one.

I waivered back and forth between a medium and a large. At the last moment, I went with the large to give myself room to grow. I was so excited to receive my t-shirt until I saw it was microscopic in size. Seriously, the smallest size L maternity t-shirt ever known to man arrived at my door.

But it's still adorable so I went back to www.CafePress.com to find out how to exchange this thing for the XL (grrr....). I filled out the online form and I PROMPTLY received THIS reply:

"Dear Cynthia,
I am sorry the item you received does not fit perfectly. I want you to be 100% satisfied with everything you purchase at CafePress.com. I am ordering you a replacement right away in the new size at no additional charge.

There is no need for a return! I do not want you to incur any additional shipping charges. Please keep the original as our way of saying thanks for shopping at CafePress.com.

If there is anything else I can do for you please let me know."

What? Are they serious? I can't tell you how this little email about a T-SHIRT just brightened my gloomy, rainy day. Needless to say I'll be bookmarking www.CafePress.com and using it in the future for all my cute t-shirt needs. And you should too. Just remember to order a size bigger than you think you should!

Call me...Grandma?

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Well, then consider me VERY flattered that Alaina is also walking around the house these days "with a baby in my tummy, just like you, Mommy."

Yikes.

Yes, this startling announcement came on Sunday. I was sitting on the couch with my hand on my stomach. Alaina climbed up next to me, put her hand on her stomach and announced that she too, was with child.

Not only did she make this announcement, she ran with the fantasy for a good long while afterwards. She had doctor appointments and informed me that the baby has to stay inside for a while to "grow bigger and bigger". She had important shopping to do for a car seat and a crib.

Finally, the big moment arrived and the baby was born. (Thankfully said baby just appeared and we did not have to discuss how babies are born). Then it was on to feeding and "being very quiet" while the baby napped. "No more talking, Mommy. Don't wake up my baby."

I hope this is a sign of her excitement at being a big sister again. Not a sign of her impending teenaged-motherhood.

Sorority Alumni Reunion: Lessons Learned

A few of you have emailed me privately asking about my recent sorority alumni dinner. I learned a few things by attending:

First, do not attend one of these if you are pregnant. In order to get through being surrounded by active sisters (i.e. beautiful, vibrant, COLLEGE-AGED girls) without feeling like an old hag, you'll need to drink yourself into a state of perceived pretty. I don't mean staggering, drooling, drunk. I mean flirty and fun. Ladies, you get me.

Second, if you must attend an event like this with-child, you really should try to go when you are pregnant with your first child. Then, to those girls still in college, you are living in the dream. Married (usually), and having what is sure to be the most adorable, perfect baby ever. How fun! You'll hear a lot of "awwwww... I want one!". When you show up pregnant with baby #4, you may as well be from another planet. A complete foreign being reminding them of THEIR mother. And it doesn't matter how cute your outfit is, all they see is O-L-D.

Third, I did used to be fun. I remember now. And talking about it with people who also remember it is very uplifting. Sometimes that can be easy to forget when you're saying things like "Please don't make me start counting" and "Did you remember to wipe?" to your 3-year old, while hoping your 9-month old doesn't sneeze sweet potatoes all over your clothes - again. Events like this are good for remembering that there is a cooler side to this exhausted mother.

Fourth, I also used to be stupid and I realize how lucky I am to have my current life in the safety of the suburbs. I'm all for nostalgia and I'm sure I would have had fun at our old hang-out. But I kept hearing my husband explaining to my children "Mommy wanted to relive her college glory-days and that's why she got shot 5 times by a crackhead." Besides the imminent danger of a drive-by shooting or car-jacking at this particular location, there are no fire exits. (This is what you think about when you're a mother) There was no way I was going back there. See, age can bring wisdom (or, at the very least, end stupidity). And thankfully being pregnant bought me a pass on having to explain why I wasn't up to going. Instead I curled up in the king-sized bed I had all to myself and slept until room-service woke me up with breakfast in the morning.

Looking forward to next year!

2008 March for Babies

This past Saturday our family participated in the 2008 March of Dimes March for Babies. This was my 3rd year as an individual and our second year as a team. We had a beautiful, sunny day in New England and everyone was feeling good. Most importantly, our team raised JUST under $1500 for the cause which is great! It's not too late to help us beat our 2008 goal; just click the March for Babies badge on the right side of this page and make a little donation today. Even $5 can help.

Here are a few pictures of our day (our team picture will be posted soon...hint, hint to email it to me LIZ!!)

First Ultrasound = 11 weeks and ONE baby

Now that we are "out" with this pregnancy, there are just SO MANY things I want to say about it. But, first things first. Ultrasound pictures!

I was sent for an ultrasound on Monday for two reasons. First and foremost, to check my dates. Since I haven't technically had a period since before I got pregnant with the boys, I couldn't tell Dr. M when I missed one. So, really, we didn't know how far along I was. The other thing we were checking for was number of babies. Although the odds were not really in favor of another set of twins, it was still a concern.

Here's what I saw on Monday:




I also saw and heard the strong heartbeat.

While I was at the surgery center I had my initial blood work done (including my 6th? HIV test in three years...pretty confident in THAT result at this point...) and I am proud to say that I did not faint this time. Always a major accomplishment for me.

So the journey continues....

Questions Answered

As expected my announcement from earlier today has produced many questions. Let me attempt to answer the big ones in one shot:

1 - It is just ONE baby. Keeping in mind that Aaron and Brady are identical twins, here's how the odds looked walking into the ultrasound appointment:

Chances of Having Two Sets of Twins
(w/ various zygosity combinations)
2 sets of fraternal twins 1 in 3,000
1 set of fraternal twins/1 set of identical twins 1 in 10,000
2 sets of identical twins 1 in 70,000
[Stats borrowed from CarrieinAK. I'm glad she had already figured this out so I didn't have to!]

2 - Yes, we will find out the sex. Alaina has been asking for a sister since the boys were born. If this baby is a boy, we'll need the time to prep her.

3 - No, we are not all set with clothes. I have already sold or given away all of my maternity clothes, along with the preemie/newborn clothes, and anything else that the children have already grown out of. But we do still have almost of our non-clothing baby gear so that is a HUGE bonus.

4 - I do not know if I will need a repeat C-Section. Time will tell. Dr M assured me that VBAC is absolutely an option. But, as I will be delivering in Massachusetts this time, I will need to switch OB/Gyn's in the very near future (Dr. M delivers at hospitals too far away). We will see what the new practice has to say.

5 - This pregnancy will be no different than the other two in that the name will be kept a secret until I've delivered. Ask all you want, you won't get an answer!

Irish Triplets

The Internet's ultimate source for all quality information, Wikipedia, states that the term "Irish triplets" refers to three siblings born in two years.

As of this fall, that's what we will have.

Estimated Due Date: Halloween 2008

More information and ultrasound scans coming soon!!

Seven Random Things

Since I was tagged, here goes...
Seven random things about me:

1. My first (and only) band experience was when I played the triangle in the Rhythm Band at Our Lady of Hope school. I used to be sad that I didn't get promoted to the cymbol or the tamborine when I moved from Kindergarten to First Grade. Now I realize that it was because I was SO GOOD at the triangle, that section couldn't bear to lose me.
2. I am terribly claustrophobic. This means I cannot sleep with socks on, I select flights/airlines based on the seating configurations, and I watch how many people get on an elevator before deciding whether or not I will also get on.
3. I have given birth naturally without pain medication (and speak of the experience in positive terms) but I need to take an anxiety pill and all available numbing options when getting a cleaning at the dentist.
4. I suffered from a lazy eye during childhood which was corrected by wearing a patch. In college I was in a car accident that resulted in, essentially, two lazy eyes. My eyes are about 20-20 seperately but do not play nicely together.
5. I actually enjoy watching the Doodlebops with Alaina, but I get really excited when they are followed by an episode of "This is Emily Yeung." That kid ROCKS. "This is Daniel Cook" is simply not the same.
6. I didn't get on an airplane until I was 24 years old. (I went to Aruba, in case that is important).
7. I changed my mind about which college to attend at the 11th hour… based on the weather. Every time we toured a school it was either raining or snowing. But when we went to Sacred Heart, it was a beautiful sunny day. I took that as a sign it was meant to be.

I'll Be Lovin' You Forever

Several things have truly made me feel my age of late. Without getting into a "poor Cynthia" type of rant here, I will focus on the thing which struck me closest to my heart: the newly announced New Kids on the Block reunion. This had me excited. But now, it has me feeling over the hill.

To start with, I was at the mall two (or so) weeks ago and the pre-teen walking in front of me had an old NKTOB "Hangin' Tough" t-shirt on.Knowing this girl may not even have been BORN when that album was released, it hit me hard: one of my favorite Jr. High School bands is now RETRO. Ugh.

And speaking of Hangin' Tough, when was the last time you've listened - truly listened - to that song? Thanks to radio pretending the "original boy band" never existed until very recently and having lost all my old tapes (yes, tapes, not CDs) it's been a while for me. So, when the reunion was announced I hit the iTunes store and purchased some old faves. When Hangin' Tough came on in the Drive Home shuffle the other night I found myself dancing in the driver's seat. Even with the soccer whistles and the ridiculous lyrics ("WE'RE ROUGH"??? Come on...!) it's still a damn catchy tune. Even better was "You've Got It (The Right Stuff)". All that I needed was YOU New Kids.

Will I go to see the reunion tour? Perhaps. I've become a bit of a snob in my old age and I'm torn. On the one hand the thought of spending an evening bumping into a bunch of crazy, screaming, 30-something women, all hoping against hope to meet a New Kid makes me want to poke my eyes out with a pen. But, on the flip side, I never had the opportunity to see them in my youth (much too young to go alone and not willing to go with a parent). So, it would be cool. I have to admit, they have aged well. I guess it will be up to my friends (ahem, you know which ones you are) to help me decide.