Yes, Yes, Aaron & Brady, Yes, No, No, Yes, Most of the time, Yes

It is simply amazing how bold people can be when it comes to reproduction. The questions and the advice. I appreciate that people are curious and/or concerned. But I think that there is something about child-bearing that eliminates a person's ability to self-sensor.

I first experienced this when I was a newlywed "When are you having kids?" and "think you'll start trying soon?" Then, god forbid you're not pregnant by your first anniversary and the questions change to "are you having problems?" and the advice starts "have you tried....?" Ew. Mind your own business.

Then comes the happy day when you finally become pregnant. The questions get more intrusive and there is a lot of touching involved. There is also a ton of unsolicited advice and every woman who has ever given birth wants to share her birth story. Not helpful. Hearing how much pain I'm about to be in is helpful in WHAT way?

I thought things were bad with Alaina; but my twin pregnancy was much worse. My personal favorite encounter was on the elevator up to my office. A woman in my office who I don't know asked when I was due. I told her and her response was "Oh my God, I hope you're having twins" Well, yes, I am. So does that mean I look normal now as opposed to the big fat pig you just thought I was? Anyway, I appreciated the curiousity, but it is frustrating answering the same question 1,000 times. At least there wasn't as much advice since most people I encountered had no experience with multiples.

Once the babies are born, you not only have to swallow the advice and ridiculous questions, but you have to do it while trying to get through whatever you're doing before the baby (or babies) starts melting down. With Alaina my favorite was "is that a boy or a girl?" I could understand if she was dressed in neutral color. But when she had on a pink dress and a little barrett in her hair - think about it people.

And now that the twins are actually leaving the house on a regular basis, I am experiencing the twin curiousity I've heard other Mothers of Multiples speak of. And it's the same series of questions almost every time. Sometimes the order varies, but not often.

Yes - they are twins
Yes - they are two boys
Aaron & Brady - Aaron with an "A"; no, not for Tom Brady
Yes - they are identical
No - twins do not run in the family
No - we did not take fertility drugs
Yes - we have our hands full
Most of the time - we are getting sleep at night
Yes - I can tell them apart

I feel like I should just rattle off the information as soon as a stranger makes eye contact. Being out in public would be a lot easier if I could just wear a t-shirt that answers all the questions.

And as difficult as it is for me, there are twin mommies who have it slightly worse. I don't know how the mothers of boy/girl twins can stand to be asked the identical/fraternal question without slapping the asker. Honestly. I give those mothers credit. I couldn't listen to that question without having a visible, physical reaction. At least once I say identical, the questions shift more to how we can tell them apart and do we ever get them mixed up. Although, I do have a hard time with the "do they run in your family" question after I've said they are identical. But I realize people are misinformed. I also realize I'm busy and the countdown to a meltdown is always on when I have both babies in public, so I stick to yes or no answers and get along my way. I don't take extra time out of my day to explain the biological differences between idential and fraternal twins and why identical twins CAN'T run in families.

Perhaps as Mothers of Multiples - and mothers in general - we should all make up little flyers that we can just hand to strangers when they ask questions of us. "Thank you for your interest in my child(ren). Here, this flyer has should answer all the questions you are about to ask. Unfortunately I have to be on my way now, though, so I can finish up before screaming time."